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Getting dumped brings out the worst in people. I have a friend. He had a girlfriend who he loved more than he loved anyone. However, she was quite immature and liked to spend all her free time at a skanky dance bar getting hit on and fondled by skanky guys. Obviously he did not like this side of her. She hadn’t been like that when they met. He would beg and plead for her not to go. He would get even get mad. She would say she wasn’t going to go, but she always did. Eventually she dumped him because he was always on her about the bars.

It was then I saw how pathetic a man could be. He would buy her expensive gifts, and show up at her place with flowers and teddy bears. When she wanted something she couldn’t afford, she called him. She played him good, and now, over a year later, she is still playing him. He is a smart man, good looking, the whole nine yards. He just has blinders on to what she is doing. All he cares about is getting her back. I have told him so many times that he will be better off by not being available to her and not jumping at her beck and call. Maybe she would eventually give up using him. Maybe she would realize how great he is. In an ideal world, it would be the other way around. He would realize how great he is and how he deserves much better.

Getting dumped is hard. Even if you are being dumped by the most evil person on the planet, if you love them, it is going to hurt. It is going to hurt a lot. But being at their beck and call is not the way to win them back. If you can manage to stay away, you have a better shot. People want what they can’t have. Also, it keeps you from getting used and hurt over and over and over again.

Instead of trying to please your ex, please yourself. Find out who you are again. Remind yourself of your passions and start them up again. Join a gym, make new friends, pick up a hobby, there are a million things you can do to make yourself feel good about the situation and yourself.